EXPERIENCING LOW SEX DRIVE?
Let's talk about sex, baby.
Specifically, let's talk about how to have good sex within the context of marriage because while sex is a significant part of marriage, it's not always easy to keep the spark alive.
"Kiss me again and again, for your love is sweeter than wine. How fragrant your cologne, and how great your name! No wonder all the young girls love you! Take me with you; come, let’s run!” While the king was on his couch, my nard gave forth its fragrance. My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh that lies between my breasts. My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
in the vineyards of Engedi.” (Song of Solomon 1: 2-4; 12-14)
Sex in Christian marriage is often viewed as a sacred act, but it can also be a source of conflict.
Sex can be a source of physical and emotional intimacy, but it can also be a source of pain and insecurity.
Sex can be a source of pleasure and satisfaction, but it can also be a source of frustration and anxiety.
Christian wives can often face pressure to be the "perfect" partner, both in terms of their physical appearance and their sexual performance. However, it's important to remember that
there is no such thing as a "perfect" Christian wife. Instead, each christian wife is unique, with her own individual combination of strengths and weaknesses.
Fortunately, there are a few simple things that Christian wives can do to increase sex libido to feel more confident and sexy.
Resolving conflicts. Sometimes, unresolved issues in other areas of our marriage can translate to an unhealthy attitude during sex - could be passive, aggressive, or playing numb under the expectation of being submissive.
Make sure you're getting enough rest and exercise. Both of these things help to increase energy levels, which can be a major turn-on. Focus on your positive qualities and learn to love yourself for who you are.
Make an effort to take care of your physical appearance and dress in a way that makes you feel attractive. It doesn’t always have to be buying new lingerie (it’s great but if there are deeper intimacy issues, the feeling won’t last). Some women enjoy taking a bath with lavender oil before bedtime to get over the daily stress, investing in quality mattresses and bedspreads, and planning regular date nights without the kids.
Don't be afraid to experiment in the bedroom and explore your sexuality with your husband. Focus on the positives. Instead of dwelling on any negative thoughts or experiences you may have had, think about all the reasons why sex is great.
Make more time for each other. This means setting aside time for just the two of you, without distractions or obligations. When was the last time you had a flirty conversation or moonlight walk that didn’t involve topics like bills or kids?
Focus on communication. Talk about what you enjoy sexually, and be open to trying new things. For example, ask for more foreplay time. Kissing, cuddling, and massaging are all great ways to get in the mood.
Don't forget the little things. Often, it's the small gestures that mean the most in a relationship. So take the time to kiss and cuddle with your partner, and show them how much they mean to you.
Seek professional counseling / medical checkup: Sex can be a source of power and control, but it can also be a source of vulnerability and insecurity. If you are experiencing low sex libido, I also encourage you to speak with your gynaecologist or get professional counseling.
PURPOSE TALK
Sex in marriage can be a source of love and connection, or a source of fear and disconnection. May you find joy as God intended. Would love to hear your thoughts.
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